i may be wrong about who i am

i am a pretty simple man, pretty simple desires. i think it is no unreasonable for me to want certain things. while it is true that i am not home, and she is very busy being, basically, a single mom. i love talking to her, seeing her (via internet), but i don’t know if i can do this. women, it is said, respond to touch; but what happens when i cannot touch her, and my visual needs are not being taken care of. i do not believe she has to perform for me, i am not asking that. i am asking for her to give a little. kind of why i started with the shape. seems petty, because it probably is, but i am simple man with simple desires. do i feel guilty? yes, the worse guilt i have ever felt in my life. i also feel like a burden, or it is a burden to ask the color so these things, because she “has no sex drive, and has not had one for a long time.” i m not trying to make her look evil, she is not evil in the slightest; i know it has been a while since i have been home, but it is what it is. i always thought of myself as a faithful person, i hope this is just a test with lessons to be learned.